We want to adopt

Frequently asked questions

What is a profile?

How do we compile a profile?

What age should we be to adopt a child?

If we have biological children, can we still adopt?

If we have previously adopted, can we adopt again?

If the biological mother changes her mind, will we recoup our expenses?

What law applies to international adoption?

If we have been through the screening process with another agency, do we still need to go through your process?

I want my daughter and son-in-law to adopt but they are hesitant. Can I register on their behalf?

We want to adopt but my parents are not supportive. They are saying negative things about adoption, like, “What if the child turns out to be a mass murderer or a kleptomaniac?”

Why should we use Adoptions4Ever?

Beatrice Pringle, the founder of Adoptions4Ever, has suffered with infertility and failed IVF treatments, and has dealt with the disappointment of adoptions gone horribly wrong. She is an adoptive as well as soon-to-be-biological mother. Beatrice has experienced it all, so she can relate to you.

What services do you offer adoptive parents?

As adoptive parents you will have the option to meet the biological mother and be present at the birth.

Birth mothers in our care undergo regular medical examinations, limiting the possibility of birth defects and illnesses affecting the baby.

Similarly, we go the extra mile for our biological mothers by treating them to regular spa treatments, taking them on outings to places of interest in the area, and we provide weekly counselling sessions with a qualified counsellor. To help her move forward after the adoption, we also offer skills training and development. All of these services ensure that the adoption process is a positive experience for the birth mother in order to ensure a happy, secure and relaxed baby. For more information about the services provided at Huis Talitha, our home for biological mothers, take a look at the I’m pregnant section of our website.

About adoption

The following information was provided by Dr Marie Kruger, the Adoptions4Ever social worker.

What is adoption?

Adoption is a legal process, in terms of the Children's Act, for a child in need of care to be placed with proposed adoptive parents, to be raised as their own.  Only a social worker who is accredited to do adoptions can assist you with the legal process. 

Why do people adopt?

People may have different reasons to consider adoption but mostly a couple who experience infertility problems and have been through several unsuccessful treatments, consider the adoption route as the last possible resort to be able to have a family of their own.

Who can adopt?

Section 231 of the Children's Act (38/2005) states:

  • A child may be adopted
    • jointly by

    (i)  a husband and wife
    (ii) partners in a permanent domestic life-partnership
    (iii) other persons sharing a common household and forming a permanent family unit;

    • by a widower, widow, divorced or unmarried person;
    • by a married person whose spouse is the parent of the child or by a person whose permanent domestic life-partner is the parent of the child;
    • by the biological father of a child born out of wedlock; or
    • by the foster parent of the child.

Where do we begin?

Obtain the services of an accredited social worker who will explain the process in detail. This includes the screening and what is required, the situation with respect to the biological parent making such a decision, the legal process and what it entails as well as follow-up services required for once the adoption is finalised.

What is the procedure?

It is recommended that you phone different places and social workers to determine how they each work and decide what you feel comfortable with.  Be aware that this is an emotional rollercoaster and you will feel exposed.  It is therefore important that you feel comfortable with the person that is going to walk the road with you.

Once you've decided on that, make an appointment, discuss the process and the different options, and start the screening process.

The screening process differs but there are basic requirements that all of them must meet.  In order to recommend an adoption, the social worker has to prove, in terms of Section 231 (2) of the Children's Act (38/2005), that the proposed adoptive parents are fit and proper to be entrusted with full parental responsibilities and rights in respect of the child, and are willing and able to undertake, exercise and maintain those responsibilities and rights.

How much does it cost?

There is a recommended tariff structure for social workers in private practice and, according to the Children's Act, there will also be a recommended tariff structure as set out by the Department of Social Development, which will be doing the adoption accreditations in future. 

Costs you will need to cover for the social worker include:

  • Adoption counselling and screening of the proposed adoptive parents
  • Adoption counselling with the biological parents
  • Consultations with relevant  professionals and others
  • Court appearances
  • Travelling time
  • Birth registration
  • Court reports
  • Letter writing
  • Administrative functions
  • Post-adoption work

Apart from these costs, the proposed adoptive parents may be responsible for the medical fees such as doctors' consultations, scans, and hospital fees.

What is the law around adoption?

An adoption can only be done in terms of the Children's Act and through a Children's Court. No private arrangements or contracts drawn up between proposed adoptive parents and biological parents are legal or accepted as an adoption.

Will we be guaranteed to be matched with a baby?

Unfortunately, as with everything else in life, there are no guarantees; but if this is meant for you, nothing is impossible.

How long will it take to be matched with a baby?

Again, this is not a promise any human being (even a social worker) can guarantee or predict.

What can go wrong? How do we deal with potential problems?

Should there be a problem pertaining to any situation within the circumstances of the proposed adoptive parents, it will be determined in the screening process and can be dealt with as part of the screening. Should it be a problem with the biological parents, for instance uncertainty as to whether they will consent to the adoption, it will also be dealt with by the social worker. 

Are we allowed to register with other adoption agencies?

We do not mind if you register with other agencies for adoption. However, bear in mind that each organisation has its own programme and will want to conduct its own tests. Registering with more than one organisation could therefore be costly and emotional.

Do you have tips for organising a baby shower for someone who is adopting?

It is advisable not to organise a baby shower until there is a definite agreement. It may be preferable to consider a welcoming function once the baby is placed or once the adoption is finalised. 

Do you have tips on how to help someone who is adopting?

It is and remains a nerve-wrecking time until the adoption is finalised. Offer quiet support to the adoptive parents and avoid putting pressure on them. Don’t make comments such as, "You are letting yourself in for trouble" or "All adoptive children have problems".  Remain sensitive to what the proposed adoptive parents, as well as the biological parents, are going through.

Other frequently asked questions

What is a profile?

A profile is a photo album, compiled by the proposed adoptive parents, of themselves, their families and their home environment. The purpose of the profile is to help the biological parents get to "know" the parents they choose for their child.

How do we compile a profile?

Put yourselves in the shoes of the biological parents. Think of what you would like to see if you were the biological parents and were choosing parents for your child, and build your album around that. Also remember, the profile is eventually going to be the child's life story book. If you would like to receive guidelines on how to compile a profile, please email info@adoptions4ever.co.za.

What age should we be to adopt a child?

To adopt a newborn baby, normal child-bearing age (up to 40 years of age for a woman) is acceptable. If you want to adopt an older child, you can be older than 40; but you need to be realistic and remember that we expect to grow old with our children.

If we have biological children, can we still adopt?

Unfortunately there have to be criteria and, because there are so many couples desperate to have a child of their own but who cannot biologically have children, it would not be fair to consider parents who already have children. However, every situation is considered on merit.

If we have previously adopted, can we adopt again?

Yes, you can be on a waiting list to adopt a second child.

If the biological mother changes her mind, will we recoup our expenses?

No; unfortunately that is a risk you have to take. Please note that you are only responsible for expenses, eg the counselling of the biological parents etc, once the matching has taken place - in other words, once the biological parents have chosen your profile.

What law applies to international adoption?

Chapter 16 of the Children's Act (38/2005) focuses on international adoption and can only be done through Child Protection Agencies that have been accredited to do inter-country adoptions.

If we have been through the screening process with another agency, do we still need to go through your process?

Although we can use the information from a previous screening report, the social worker doing the adoption cannot submit a report based on hearsay and you therefore have to go through a basic screening and assessments with our social worker.

I want my daughter and son-in-law to adopt but they are hesitant. Can I register on their behalf?

No, because this is not your decision to make. Your daughter and son-in-law are the parents who will have to raise the child and if they are negative, the child could be traumatised. Remember, adoption is not simply putting your name on a waiting list. The adoption process is lengthy, costly and above all else emotional. The screening tests, to mention only one factor, take potential adoptive parents on a very personal journey that they can only commit to once they are absolutely sure that adoption is right for them.

If they are simply hesitant, they can make an appointment with the social worker to discuss the adoption process and all it entails before making a decision. It is extremely important that they are motivated to complete the process. What you can do is be supportive of their decision (be it for or against adoption) and give your opinion when asked.

We want to adopt but my parents are not supportive. They are saying negative things about adoption, like, “What if the child turns out to be a mass murderer or a kleptomaniac?”

A baby is like a sponge. What you as parent invest in him/her is what he/she will become! Environment plays a much bigger role than inheritance, although inheritance is important. Please make an appointment with the social worker to get the facts and decide for yourself. Often people who are so keen to give negative advice are people who do not have the vaguest idea of what adoption really is!

What now?

Are you sure you want to adopt? If you are, please fill in our adoption registration form. If you still have questions, please contact us.