Are you pregnant?
“How can this happen to me?”
Confused? Scared? Alone?
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t have the money, time or skills to give my child the care he/she needs.”
“I need to finish my education.”
“I cannot afford to care for another child.”
“I was raped. I don’t want this child, but I don’t want an abortion either.”
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult and emotional. If you’ve found this site, you’re likely researching the options that are available to you. If you’re pregnant, you have a lot of things to consider right now. Arming yourself with information about your options is the first step in empowering yourself to make an informed decision about your unplanned pregnancy.
If you feel like your only choice is abortion but you can’t face the idea, this website is for you. Adoptions4Ever is a pro-life organisation so we urge you in this time of crisis to read through our website and empower yourself with knowledge about adoption… a safe alternative to abortion and a beautiful way to provide your child with a loving family so he or she can live a happy and healthy life.
But does adoption sound like it would be too hard as well? You might think so right now, but take a few minutes to read this page and learn more about the process and the services that we offer. You might be surprised to find that you can face it after all – with a little help from Adoptions4Ever.
Let us answer some of your worries and questions now.
Who do you help?
Our mother home, Huis Talitha, is available to adoption-minded women facing an unplanned pregnancy in South Africa. We are not concerned about your race, ethnic background or religion as long as you have decided on adoption and you have passed the screening process and health examination.
What is Huis Talitha?
Huis Talitha is a spacious four-bedroomed home situated in Phalaborwa in the Limpopo Province of South Africa. The spacious garden and swimming pool provide ample opportunity to relax and keep cool. The house parents, Jacques and Lisa Aucamp, and their two adult children, graciously welcome you into their home and lives. Groceries are kindly donated by Woolworths Phalaborwa, with all dinners prepared by the house parents. A culinary delight awaits you each night!
Why should I go to Huis Talitha?
Our aim is to provide you with housing in a safe, secure and supervised environment that allows you to be discreet and avoid conflict with family and friends about your decision. In our home you will have the comfort and security of knowing you will spend the duration of your pregnancy in a peaceful, supportive and secure environment.
Our birth mother care programme includes:
- Individual counselling that focuses on your emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual well-being. Your weekly counselling sessions will cover various topics such as: background and history, decision making, bonding with the baby, misconceptions about adoption (values, cultures and beliefs), anger, grief and forgiveness. During your pregnancy your counsellor will help you to create a life album for your baby that will involve letters and photos put together in a creative way.
- Medical care provided by professional and experienced doctors and medical staff who will monitor the health and well-being of both you and your baby.
- Skills development. A strong emphasis is placed on enhancing your skills in order to equip and empower you to change your life in a positive way, helping you to move forward. We focus on job creation and small business development and will tailor a skills development plan around your needs and talents.
- A personalized adoption plan will be tailored around your specific needs with the help and guidance of Dr Marie Kruger, a social worker and adoption specialist. As the birth mother you will play an active role in selecting the adoptive parents.
Who makes decisions about my baby?
At Adoptions4Ever, we believe the adoption triangle (biological parent, child and adoptive parent) plays a very important role, and your wishes as the biological mother are always valued and respected. We do not make decisions on your behalf but rather support you to be responsible and make informed decisions.
How much does it cost? And who pays?
Travel to and from Huis Talitha will be for your own expense. If you have a medical aid that can cover the cost of the delivery it would be appreciated if you could contribute. If this is not possible please discuss with us prior to your arrival. All your living costs will be covered by the adoptive parents you choose
At no point will you be pressurised into the decision to give your baby up for adoption. However, you need to bear in mind that in order for us to provide you with skills, care and support so that you are able to make an informed decision, there are costs involved. These costs will be covered by the adoptive parents; however, if you change your mind and decide to keep your baby, all costs incurred for the duration of your stay at Huis Talitha and related costs will be for your own expense. This includes: lodging and food, medical costs (doctors’ visits, sonars, medication and vitamins), counselling, skills training and development, as well as all expenses related to the delivery of the baby and any extras you have enjoyed (eg spa treatments, hair appointments, excursions etc).
Is adoption right for me?
If you are unsure whether adoption is for you, please call our social worker and talk to her about your options. Once you have decided on adoption for your unborn child, contact us so that we can help you.
For you as a birth mother, adoption is an unselfish choice that will enrich a child’s life and bless adopting parents with the ultimate gift of life… to be a parent.
We can help you through this crisis and find the perfect family for your child based on what is important to you. Best of all, adoption is your choice. You have the option to make all the decisions.
We are here to help you. Please call or SMS us on 084 580 3939 or email us. You enquiry will be treated with the utmost discretion.
I’m pregnant. What now?
If you didn’t plan your pregnancy, you’re probably scared or confused. Your emotional rollercoaster is also worsened by the pregnancy hormones racing through your body. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed by your emotions in early pregnancy; the difference is that a planned pregnancy brings a whirlwind of happy emotions, whereas an unplanned pregnancy often doesn’t. Recognising this can help you feel calmer. When your head is spinning, try to focus on making the right decision rather than the beating yourself up about the “mistake”.
From the moment of conception, it is a life growing inside you. It might help you to consider that although we may not always understand why things happen the way they do, there is a purpose for it all. Your predicament may be the answer to someone’s prayer – someone who is in a position to offer a child the life you perhaps cannot, but would have liked to if circumstances had been different.
What are my options?
- Are you in a position to accept full parental responsibility for the child (emotionally as well as financially) and would you have a support system to assist you in this)?
- Would you cope (emotionally and physically) with the decision to have an abortion?
- Should you consent to have your child adopted?
Please don’t make any decisions without the necessary counselling, as all of the above options will have a life-long effect on yourself as well as your child.
Also, extremely important to remember: Nobody can live your life for you or make a decision on your behalf! You need to make an informed decision that you can live with; don’t allow yourself to be influenced by others. People often have opinions, based on their lack of knowledge, and might try to influence you. For instance, people might say you are a bad parent if you consider adoption. Have you ever thought that, by making a decision that will allow your child to have the life you cannot give him/her, it makes you a responsible parent?
Why is adoption better than abortion?
This is something nobody can force you to decide, as nobody else lives with your conscience. Only you can determine for yourself what will be the easiest to live with – knowing that a decision you made prevented a child coming into the world, or, a decision you made ensured your child would have the kind of life you would have liked him/her to have.
Also, by considering adoption, you are directly the answer to a couple’s prayers for a child that they would love and cherish forever. You can always contact the social worker who is doing the adoption and counselling to find out how the little one is doing.
For more information about abortion, visit the Abortion Truths website.
How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?
If you don’t have the kind of relationship with your parents that you feel ‘comfortable’ telling them about the pregnancy, contact someone for counselling first who can guide you.
How do I tell my parents / my children I want to give my baby for adoption?
You will be guided through this as part of the counselling. The purpose of the counselling will be firstly to assist you to make an informed decision and, once you have the facts, it is easier to justify your decision.
How do I handle people who disagree with adoption?
Mostly it will be people who are not informed about adoption and what it entails that will disagree. This is why it’s important to make a decision built on facts, not fiction. Also, ask yourself whether those people will be really available to support you when you need them. Again, nobody can live your life for you and you have to do what you feel is the right and responsible thing to do – for yourself as well as for the baby.
My daughter is pregnant, what do I do now?
Immediately reassure her that you still love her and, although you may not approve of the situation, it doesn’t mean you don’t love her.
Arrange for counselling, where both of you can learn the facts about the different options. Don’t force her into a decision.
My girlfriend is pregnant, what do I do now?
Don’t run away and think the problem will disappear, because you can’t run away from your conscience! Arrange to go for counselling together, which will enable you to make an informed decision with everybody’s best interests at heart.